A pregnant friend of mine recently shared an estimate for infant daycare. Her shoulders slumped as she handed it to me, reflecting her frustration at the exorbitant cost. She was impressed with the preschool, but completely dazed from the sticker shock. She obviously wants the best for her child, but “the best” is not always within the budget. I looked at the professionally printed invoice and noted that the figure at the bottom was the size of a mortgage payment. I felt for my friend whose child wasn’t even born yet, and she was already stressing about parenting decisions.
In a very similar way, Jenni and I are also shopping for future daycare for our children. Not the kind with diaper-changing and bottles, but the kind with dorms and dining halls. With the boys progressing through high school, college is lurking around the corner. Like my pregnant friend, we’ll soon be touring facilities, asking questions, and being handed scary tuition costs. The difference is we’d probably be ecstatic if they were the size of a mortgage payment.
It doesn’t matter if your kids are tackling calculus or kicking in the womb, you always want to provide them the best life possible. The pressure to make the “correct” choice can be paralyzing–all of sudden, picking the right stroller based on aggregate customer reviews feels like a life-altering decision. This responsibility never changes—only the choices do. As parents, we spend our days juggling between what’s ideal and what’s feasible, constantly asking ourselves if we’re screwing up our kid along the way.
The answer to which is a resounding “yes.” But our children will succeed despite our many mistakes and often develop resilience and wisdom because of them. It’s not the ideal preschool or the prestigious college that defines them, but their ability to navigate life’s challenges with grace and grit. My pregnant friend’s baby may not attend the fancy daycare with infant pilates and bilingual menus, but he or she will be loved and cared for by imperfect parents from day one, which will make all the difference.
I just hope they choose the right stroller…
