Six-legged Freaks!

With a two year old throwing bananas and jelly on the floor, it was only a matter of time before the ants breached our security perimeter and established an offensive position within our home.    However, after a battle known as “The Labor Day Massacre,” we’ve pushed back the enemy for now.  

Steve Matsumoto
This lack of eating precision may explain the ant situation…

There’s not many insects people really like.  Bees sting, but they’ve demonstrated their worth through pollination and honey production.  Ladybugs have built strong brand name recognition with their black and red logo.  Crickets and grasshoppers have been associated with good luck and learning kung fu.  Ants, on the other hand, have not really broken through and found their niche with people.

There have been a number of attempts to improve ant/human relations, most notably in the 1940’s and 1950’s.    Targeted specifically at young boys, these marketing efforts aimed to have ants bond with their would-be tormentors at a young age, creating a more positive psychological imprint.   “Ant Farms” were one of the strategies employed.   What a scam this was.   You take a household pest you normally try to eliminate from your home and get people to pay money to now bring it inside their home.   The goal was to promote the ant’s positive attributes: discipline, community, structure.   Also during this era, we see the appearance of Cootie. While supposedly a children’s game, this was nothing more than six legged propaganda.  

These efforts ushered in a period of human/ant détente.  Unfortunately, by the mid seventies a soft magnifying glass market wrecked the post WWII gains, and boy-on-ant violence skyrocketed.  Another PR attempt was made in the late 90’s with the almost simultaneous release of the movies Antz and A Bug’s Life.   As beautiful as the insects were in CGI, the public wasn’t fooled.   Disney sold very few Bug’s Life Halloween costumes and while there was ant royalty in both movies, it was obvious little girls preferred their princesses to be mermaids or French peasants.  The current decade hasn’t seen much movement in human/ant relations.  You may have seen the last Indiana Jones movie, that certainly didn’t help. 

Perhaps I should extend more compassion to my ant neighbors.  The current recession has probably affected ants as well; picnicking is way down and ants are probably traveling farther for less food. This morning I watched as thousands of worker ants marched towards a stray piece of birthday cake in the backyard. Approaching the job from all angles it looked like ribbons of highways jammed with traffic during the morning commute. It was impossible not to be impressed with the levels of coordination and integration.  The only thing missing from this urban setting was a dragonfly helicopter giving the traffic report. As I sipped my coffee and marveled at their little civilization, one thought came to mind, “Where can I get a really big magnifying glass?”